Funny Birthday Wishes
August 27, 2015

Discover funny birthday wishes that are going to make your friends laugh all day! Show them you have a great sense of humor by writing the funniest birthday messages they have ever seen. They deserve to smile on their special day and you should remind them that laughing is the greatest secret to long life. After all, you are friends and you can tease them as much as you want. Good friends appreciate funny birthday wishes because they know that you are a great person and you love them. Now it’s the time to show your friends how funny you really are by writing one of the following funny birthday wishes in a card to make it more personal.

Com’on, let’s get you inspired!

Popular Funny Birthday Wishes

  • You are not fifty. You are just twenty one with twenty nine years of experience.
  • You would really have liked the present I was too lazy to get you.
  • I wish you all the best on your special day and I hope you don’t pass away before you eat your birthday cake.
  • You know what they say about death and taxes right? They are the most certain things in life! Happy birthday.
  • Hi, I’m here only for the food.
  • Happy birthday my friend, you have just entered the old-school era.
  • You are another year wiser and another year older. Don’t you know already that there is no gift for you, or do I have to make it simpler for you?
  • I was really trying to find the perfect gift for you, but I couldn’t think of anything. Sorry!
  • Why do you need a present anyway? You have found the gift of immortal youth, what else can a man/woman ask for? Don’t push it!
  • I wanted to get you a truly amazing, awesome and unique gift for your birthday. But unfortunately none of them could fit on my iPhone 5 screen. Maybe you could buy me an iPhone 6 Plus and I’ll take care of it immediately.
  • Happy birthday, it’s time to grow up and start acting like all people of your age…not!
  • You are much more sophisticated now. When I met you, you were just a punk. Look at you now, don’t even care about gifts. Such a unique and elevated person.
  • Happy birthday friend, you are getting closer and closer to…uhm…you know what…!
  • Unfortunately your cake is too small. We need a bigger one to fit all the candles. But anyway, happy birthday to you!
  • If you want to look handsome and young on your birthday, there’s only one way. Invite fat and old people to your birthday party and take a selfie with them.
  • Enjoy your birthday as much as you can because tomorrow we are going back to blaming you for all the bad things that are happening at the office.

Top Funny Birthday Wishes

  • The past is behind you, so don’t bother. The future is uncertain, so don’t sweat it. The present is non existent, so forget about it!
  • Happy birthday to an amazing person who is beautiful, intelligent and elegant and coincidentally looks a lot like me!
  • No sorry, a lighter is not going to help anyone here. We need a flame-thrower to light these candles up Mad Max style.
  • You actually look fantastic for someone who is X years old. I can’t believe it! Happy birthday.
  • Hey stop yelling at me, I didn’t forget your birthday. I just lost count of the days.
  • I wish you find all the inner strength to blow out all the candles on that cake. Boy there are a lot of them!
  • Happy birthday my dearest friend, enjoy this very special day and have fun. But maybe not too much, because a person of your age needs to be careful.
  • You know you are getting too old when the birthday cake is actually cheaper than the candles.
  • Come on, cheer up buddy. You made it this year, you are a true survivor. You might be older, but at least you are still alive.
  • Happy birthday friend, you are officially classified as vintage.
  • Friends come and go, but real birthday cakes will be forever with us.
  • If you can read this, you are still young (written in really small characters). Happy birthday!
  • Something was telling me I had to text you today. Not sure why. Anyway, I hope you are OK.
  • Last year you were more handsome than this year. I’m your friend and will always be honest with you. Happy birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Him

  • You are such a great friend, I always see you as my older brother, even if you are actually older than me. Happy birthday dude!
  • Very few ladies are OK with their age. Even fewer gentlemen act theirs.
  • Happy birthday mate and don’t forget, no sex today! You’re gonna need to gather all your energy to blow out all these candles.
  • OMG, you are so old that even your birth certificate has expired. Happy birthday!
  • Remember to wear your sun glasses when they bring out the cake with all these candles lit up. You’re gonna need them.
  • An old burp is as useful as an old one.
  • Happy birthday dude, I wish you have a blast tonight, or at least manage to keep away from bed until midnight.
  • Nobody can get away with growing old, but you can certainly get away with growing up. Wish you a happy birthday.
  • I was thinking to write you this card with a cool joke about your age but then I though it will hurt your feelings since you are turning X years old. So I’m just going to say happy birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes & Messages

Funny Birthday Wishes for Her

  • A wise person once said that a man who remembers his wife’s birthday is a true diplomat, but seems to forget her age no matter how hard he tries.
  • You think you are a special girl just because today it’s your birthday? Well I have news for you, you are and always been special, every day of the year.
  • Maturity is very expensive, you acquired it by giving away many years. I hope it’s worth it!
  • Happy birthday girl. Can I have your plastic surgeon number?
  • On this very special day, you should count the blessings that God has given you, not your wrinkles.
  • You are soon approaching a certain age where your breast will go out more than you do.
  • You are my best friend, I promise I will never reveal your age to anyone. I don’t want to shock them!
  • Happy birthday to a real lady who is still good looking despite her age.
  • Come on, at least you can tell me, your best friend. Have you invented the time machine?
  • Don’t feel bad about your real age. Everyone is going to be reach your age sooner or later.

We hope you enjoyed our unique collection of funny birthday wishes and you used them wisely.

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